Lyric Review Needed - Gonna Wage a War

[lawblank]

Hi all,
This is my first post...I have been getting feedback from another forum, but it is more Nashville oriented, which is great because they are very serious about the craft of songwriting...but sometimes they get too caught up in the story, rather than the pop and poetic sensibilities.

Any feedback pro or con is welcome.

Thanks,
~Law

Gonna Wage a War

I’m raising my white flag
So we can talk
Without any reservations

Don't think I'm not scared
Never did expect
so many complications

When you came along
The timing was so wrong
We’ll get through this
Of this I have no doubt

CHORUS
Gonna wage a war
For your heart
For our love
got my orders plain and true
You were made for me
And I was made for you
Understand
I wage this war
cause you're the love that I've been waiting for

I've trouble breathing in
Every time you walk in the room
Bridge
you know you cannot hide...
all your feelings show

as our love grows
it's time to join together not divide

CHORUS

Let's lay our weapons on the table
Step back in plain view
There are no cards up my sleeves
Only my heart beating for you

Keep breathing in Keep breathing out
Keep breathing in Keep breathing out
We’ll get though this
Of this I have no doubt

Gonna wage a war
For your heart
For our love
got my orders plain and true
You were made for me
And I was made for you
Understand
I wage this war
cause you're the love that I've been waiting for

Copyright 2008 Law Blank

[Reconsiderate]

Decent arrangement (verse, chorus, verse, bridge, chorus). Decent focus. And it comes to a head in the end, which is always nice.

Kind of lacks a personal touch, details unique to your situation. So it sorts of hangs there as a formula.

The metaphor of "war for love" was sort of clever, but also sort of "everyday".

All in all, I'd say it's apparent that there's some good lyric-writing foundations at work here. Is the recorded version ready for our listening pleasure?



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Reconsiderate
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