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strawberry1 Neophyte

 Joined: 14 Apr 2006 More posts by strawberry1
1.524 Music Forte Dollars
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Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 8:48 pm Post subject: Lonely |
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I sit here all alne
With no one to talk to
My heart's blue
Because I don't have you
I miss your comfort
I miss your warmth
When you're here with me
I feel safe from harm
You wrapped me in your ever lovin' arms
I'm lonely, so bored and lonely
Because I miss my one and only
Please come home to me
I need you here
To dry my lonely tears
On my pillow I cry every night
Because you walked out of my life
When I'm with you I feel alright
So please come back and light up my life
If I never see you again
I know that my life will end
You're my one and only friend
Please don't let our love end
I miss your comfort
I miss your warmth
When I'm with you I feel safe from harm
You wrapped me in your ever lovin' arms
I'm lonely, so bored and lonely
Because I miss my one and only
Please come home to me
I need you here
To dry my lonely tears
Angela Wilson |
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strawberry1 Neophyte

 Joined: 14 Apr 2006 More posts by strawberry1
1.524 Music Forte Dollars
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Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 8:58 pm Post subject: please reply to strawberry1 lyrics lonely |
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| see if you can put music to strawberry1's lyrics |
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Reconsiderate Forum Moderator

 Joined: 19 May 2005 More posts by Reconsiderate
96.439 Music Forte Dollars

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Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 9:39 am Post subject: |
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Hey Strawberry:
I've moved your poems over here to the Collaboration folder. Cool?
And have you thought about recording your poems by themselves? You can be listed over on Music Forte's Poetry Page. |
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CapricornKing Gold Member

 Joined: 01 Aug 2005 More posts by CapricornKing
1.040 Music Forte Dollars
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Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 5:23 pm Post subject: I'm lonely |
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Hey Straw
I don't know if you would lie this or not, check out this beat and let me know if it flows with you lyrics. "Lonely test" it's only a test
Capricornking |
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strawberry1 Neophyte

 Joined: 14 Apr 2006 More posts by strawberry1
1.524 Music Forte Dollars
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Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2007 10:26 pm Post subject: Dear Capricornking |
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I might got your name wrong, but you can add rock to my lyrics, or whatever you think is best. Make it sound like a hit.
Strawberry1 |
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arnold26 Newbie

 Joined: 21 Oct 2007 More posts by arnold26
0.506 Music Forte Dollars
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Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 4:41 pm Post subject: Re: Lonely |
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| strawberry1 wrote: |
I sit here all alne
With no one to talk to
My heart's blue
Because I don't have you
I miss your comfort
I miss your warmth
When you're here with me
I feel safe from harm
You wrapped me in your ever lovin' arms
I'm lonely, so bored and lonely
Because I miss my one and only
Please come home to me
I need you here
To dry my lonely tears
On my pillow I cry every night
Because you walked out of my life
When I'm with you I feel alright
So please come back and light up my life
If I never see you again
I know that my life will end
You're my one and only friend
Please don't let our love end
I miss your comfort
I miss your warmth
When I'm with you I feel safe from harm
You wrapped me in your ever lovin' arms
I'm lonely, so bored and lonely
Because I miss my one and only
Please come home to me
I need you here
To dry my lonely tears
Angela Wilson |
Just looked at the first verse.
I sit here all alone
With no one to talk to
My heart's blue
Because I don't have you
Think about what you said. You sit here all alone.
Better worded. I'm lonely.
even when you sit. But wait, you are sitting here, not there.
You are not only alone, but you are all alone.
Perhaps you want to say, When I sit I feel alone.
Next line. With no one to talk to. Well you could talk to yourself. Isn't
it evident if you are alone - all alone, you have no one to talk to?
Next line. Your heart is blue, and it is not the way you feel, it is your heart that is blue.
And all this because you don't have - what's the name? You don't miss the talks, walks, games, etc.
I know there is poetic license, but try to say the same thing in ways that haven't been said before. Avoid using cliches! |
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